51
You don't have to give up anything
Live and accept everything that happens to you.
Suppression and rejection have never made anyone happy.
⠀
📦Whatever you've accumulated inside you, no matter how securely you packed it away, sooner or later it will leak out.
👉🏼 Sometimes in the form of a little trickle, and usually as a powerful explosion, leaving behind a heap of unreasonable expectations and shattered illusions.
⠀
• Don't fight life, just let it be.
• Don't deny pain - live it.
• Don't suppress anger - let it pass through you.
⠀
Let everything that happens just be, stop the war.
52
Signs of a toxic relationship at the outset:
✔️ You show what your partner wants to see, not the real you.
✔️ Controlling your partner and requiring obedience under the guise of care.
✔️ Accusations.
✔️ Advice on how to change or get better.
✔️Isolation from friends/family.
✔️Mood swings (abrupt change of mood).
✔️An excuse for a partner.
⠀
Love is not ...
▫️ affection
▫️ pity
▫️ selflessness
▫️ passion
▫️ possessiveness
▫️ selfishness
▫️ the desire to give pleasure to another.
53
A man with a hammer in his hands will always see nails
Do you know why you can't change as soon as you start examining yourself?
⠀
That’s because what you really want is to change the world around you, not yourself.
⠀
Hence so much anger at stupid therapy sessions, boring practices, pointless navel-gazing.
⠀
When you really want change, you don't try to determine the time, you just realize that today, right now, you are making a voluntary decision to live differently, and that's already made all the difference.
⠀
Transformation is an individual process, so no one can go through it together with you.
54
Why is it important to develop a sympathetic and compassionate attitude toward yourself?
‼️Because the habit of berating yourself can negate the effects of all the healing efforts.⠀
⠀
Let's say we've worked through all the key points of our regression, dealt with all the inner critics and scolding teachers, and then what?
⠀
And then nothing can change... since being accustomed to scold ourselves, we simply may not have the experience: "Is there any other way?"⠀ ⠀
⠀
That's where daily practice comes in. This practice includes gaining the skill of self-support and self-awareness. Yes, it will take you some time to learn how to respond to your own failures and mistakes in a new way.
55
What is inner pain?
If you think it over, this pain is all about strong emotions. And there're not necessarily "bad" emotions, such as: anger, resentment, disappointment, etc. (the list is long). It can also be love, but you have no one to share it with or to express it somehow. Or it can be a very strong love that doesn't have enough space to bloom.
⠀
What should we do to prevent the "explosion"? After all, a strong emotion, like any explosion, leads to devastation and it takes a long time to rebuild what has been destroyed...
⠀
❓What can we do when feelings overwhelm us?
❗️ Increase your inner space. Let it expand.
⠀
❓How?
❗️Breathing... Try to breathe through your mouth. When we start breathing through our mouth, we automatically engage our stomach. And it's like we focus our mind on the belly.
