11
About the feeling of being used
It happens that the feeling of being used occurs when a person wanted to use a partner or a situation, but could not.
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For example, a woman who consents to sex, not out of a clear sexual desire but in the hope of a relationship, may feel used if she is not offered that relationship.
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Whereas a woman who consented to sex out of a clear sexual desire may feel satisfied, unsatisfied, angry, tired, embarrassed, sad, but in no way used. Because her actions coincided with her goals. They may have been slightly more or slightly less successful, but they coincided.
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During use and manipulation, the actions do not coincide with the goals. And then only chance will tell who will succeed in reaching that hidden goal and who will not.
12
Weekends, holidays and pauses put everything in its place.
Someone who loves you knows you in detail and agrees with all your systemic mistakes. And has long laughed at the way you repeat yourself, get angry, apologize, and cheat yourself again.
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Someone who wants to get to know you better clarifies and asks questions. Many questions. About tea, or shoelaces, or how wide you can open the window at night, or how you should be loved.
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Someone who sees a future together invests time and effort now. And if it's good now, you have to be around longer to have enough for the hard times that sometimes happen.
13
About illusion and reality
Some dreams are given to man not to fulfill them, but to become disillusioned with himself and his fantasies, and to start living in the real world now.
A person becomes definitively mature when he realizes that this well-being does not depend on the efforts or opinions of others.
And when he realizes that there is nothing wrong with the world. The only question is how to look at it and what kind of contact to make.
People are most visible in the way they conceal something.
14
If you're lucky, you'll be alone
All alone, when no one is around and you have to look for support on the ground and on yourself.
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If you're lucky and it's at the right time, life will hit you to crack you like a nut and get the kernel.
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If you're lucky and it's the right time, it will hurt you. So painful that the pain will almost make you die and then help you reborn from the inside out.
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If you're lucky, you will cry. And nothing can hold back those tears. And release will come through them, and then - real life.
15
Devaluation - what is it and why?
Depreciation is the removal of value from objects or relationships so that they become less meaningful and cannot affect you. They can't upset you, hurt you, change you, or at least affect you in some way.
This is one way of psychological defense. It is used by the legendary fox in Aesop's fable, saying that "the grapes are green," and thus, not worth her effort. And the whole point is that she just can't get those grapes and tries to soothe her pain by devaluing them.
Depreciation often kills a relationship by not allowing it to experience the transformation it is meant to experience.
